Control
by sparkle587
Summary: His hand closed on what he had been searching for. He pulled the knife out gripping the handle tightly and began to climb the stairs. He stopped outside of her door. It was shut and he could hear music playing softly. He clinched his fist on the knife ag


**I have been writing this for days in my head. I'm not sure that it is as good on paper (or screen) as it was in my head! I hope you enjoy and I would love to hear what you think.**

**I do not own Degrassi cause if I did Eli would not be CRAZY right now!**

Eli watched the clock; he had been planning this night for awhile just waiting on the perfect opportunity. And finally it had arrived. Just this morning Clare told him that her dad got held up with his work trip and her mother was angry because she had a trip of her own planned to her sisters and would have to leave her home alone for two days.

Two days, two nights. Eli had his opportunity, and now at 3:00 and he was positive that she would be sleeping. He picked up his bag and stepped out into the night. He decided on walking leaving Morty parked. He didn't want to take a chance that someone would see it outside her house. He clutched his bag and picked up his step. Excitement coursed through him this would defiantly be a night to remember.

It took 15 minutes for Eli to walk the distance to Clare's house. He didn't hesitate and went straight to the back door where he knew a spare key was kept. He quickly had the key in place and with a turn of his wrist was inside the house. He paused just inside the door listening for any sound that Clare may have surprised him and was still awake. The silence told him he had been right.

Eli placed the bag he had been carrying on the dryer and reached in. His hand closed on what he had been searching for. He pulled the knife out gripping the handle tightly and began to climb the stairs. He stopped outside of her door. It was shut and he could hear music playing softly. He clinched his fist on the knife again and then slowly turned the knob.

I'm Yours was playing softly from the IPod dock on Clare's desk. _Am I really going to do this _he asked himself? But he knew he would he had been planning this for weeks and couldn't stop now. He stepped next to the bed and peered down at her.

Clare was asleep on her back her blanket pulled up to her waist. One hand was stretched across her abdomen the other placed on the pillow by her head. It was all he could do not the place a kiss on her forehead. Eli could see the white eyelet gown she was wearing. The small straps left her shoulders visible and he just wanted to touch her. He shook his head clearing the want he felt for her and reminded himself why he was here.

Eli carefully climbed onto the bed. He placed his legs on either side of Clare's and settled his weight on her. He pulled the knife above his head with both hands and waited for his weight wake her.

He didn't have to wait long. He soon felt her legs beneath him trying to shift. Suddenly her eyes fluttered open. A small scream escaped her lips and then as she really saw him and the knife above her she really screamed and began to struggle to sit up.

"It's alright Clare" he whispered. "It's time for us to be one."

Before Eli could do anything else Clare's fist caught him in the groining. She shoved him off of her. Eli lay in the floor trying to regain his breath and realized he had dropped his knife.

Clare realized it too and scrambled in the dark to get it before Eli could.

She grabbed the knife where it lay under her desk and turned to Eli. But something wasn't right. The knife wasn't warm in her had has she expected and then she realized something was not right. "Plastic?" she yelled throwing the knife at Eli's head.

Clare reached and turned her light on. Eli was still on the floor. He had recovered from the blow and was now laughing

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Clare screeched at him and he began to sit up.

It was then he realized he was wrong her gown wasn't white it was a soft yellow and it fell mid-thigh making him really want to touch her again. He pulled himself off the floor and reached for her.

"Don't touch me Eli. Answer me, what are you doing?"

Eli couldn't help smiling. She looked so beautiful standing there with her arms crossed over her chest yelling at him. "I'm scaring you Clare isn't that obvious?" He stated.

"Have you lost your mind?"

"Not completely but the little number your wearing isn't helping my sanity."

Clare smacked him soundly on the arm and pulled her jacket from the back of her door and slipped it on.

"Clare come on it was just a joke. I know my story really freaked you out and I just wanted to scare you. Things have been so drama filled for us the last month I just wanted to do something to make it feel like it use to. We use to have fun and I felt like I was always surprising you. Now I just screw everything up." Eli said as he plopped onto her bed. "Now I just feel like you are putting up with me like you finally figured out that you're too good for me."

"Well first of all that wasn't funny Eli." Clare said and sat down beside him. "Look, I know things have been a little weird for us lately. That day that Fitz was here you said to me that you felt me slipping away." Clare felt Eli tense at the mention of that day that name. "But it feels to me that you are the one slipping. I mean you are with me but you're not with me. That funny, sweet, silly guy that I fell for seems to be slipping away Eli. And the person replacing him is scary to me sometimes."

"What the hell happened to us?" Eli questioned. "Clare you know I would never hurt you don't you?"

Clare thought a moment before responding. "I don't think that you would physically hurt me. But you are being so over protective and obsessive that it hurts us. I don't feel like you trust me. I know you think Fitz being in my house was reckless but Eli I really don't think he will do anything to me and after that day I really think he will leave me alone."

"Why do you not see him for what he is? You are so fucking blind to him you always have been. Why do you really think will make him back off after that day Clare? He thinks you have a connection. I thought I would fucking puke when he said that and you…you didn't deny it." he said unable to look at her.

"Eli that day I told him that I love you. I know we have never really said that before but Eli I do. I love you and he can't change that and any connection he thinks we have doesn't exist. I only want you Eli."

Eli finally looked at her. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I don't understand how I can be so consumed by you. I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to you. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? If something happens to you I will not be able to take it."

"Anything could happen to me I could get cancer, this house could catch on fire. You can't protect me from everything Eli. And trying to only makes things harder for us."

"I just feel like I need to control things and I can't."

"You don't need to control things Eli." Clare said as she scooted closer to him on the bed and laced her fingers through his. "I use to think I need to control everything my grades, my friends, my family. But my family fell apart and there was nothing I could do about it. You know that when I tried so hard to make my grades perfect things got bad and you taught me to let go and not overanalyze my work. I don't control my friends either. If I could Alli would still be at Degrassi. And I can't control myself with you. You make me what to forget everything I know is right and just feel."

Eli didn't answer. He simply placed his lips on hers. Clare responded by opening her mouth to him and locking her hands behind his neck to pull him closer. They kissed. They kissed until their lungs felt like flames. When they finally pulled apart Clare placed Eli's hand on her heart. "See I can't control my heart when you touch me." she whispered.

"Clare, I want you so much." Eli breathed against her ear as he slid his hand from her heart to rub her breast.

"I want you too. I want you to touch me Eli."

Eli pulled the jacket off of her and placed feathery kisses from her shoulders to her fingertips where he pulled her finger into his mouth. Clare's breath caught in her throat at the caress of his tongue. She then felt Eli's teeth tug at her ring and it slip off her finger. Eli reached up and pulled the band from his mouth. He looked at her as the ring spun around his fingertip. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes" she answered.

"So this is mine?" Eli asked still spinning the ring around his fingertip.

"Yes" Clare took the ring from Eli's fingers; she reached for his wrist and untied the leather strap he wore. She slid the ring onto the strap and tied it back on his wrist.

"And you're mine?" Eli asked his eyes never leaving hers.

"Yes Eli."

"And I'm yours Clare."

**Well there it is. I don't really know about it. Review!**


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